Need to drop a few pounds? Why not have a surgeon implant a steel mesh patch on your tongue! (To state the obvious, we are kidding.)

A southern-California doctor is promoting this as a new slim-down tactic. Funnily enough, when you have metal in your mouth, it hurts to eat - and therefore you're more likely to adopt a liquid diet. According to the surgeon's website (via Allure), the 10 patients who've installed the piece lost up to 30 pounds a month.

Excuse the Hannibal Lecter out of us if we don't rush out and alter our tongues. And as Mark Fast proved this week, you don't have to be a certain weight to look good.